I’ve been reading so many posts of people with a new diagnosis who are very upset, depressed, fed up, want to give up, think their sex life is over, and think they will never love or be loved again. This is long, but I hope it might help some of you….
About 10 years ago, I was a bit of all of the above. I’l admit the first two years were pretty dark in my head and in my heart. I was angry at the man who gifted me because I asked him if he had any stds. He told me no and because I loved him, I believed him. I didn’t lie to him, so why would he lie to me? It took me 3 years to figure out the answer – he was a coward!!! He was unable to discuss adult topics of conversation. In our 2-year relationship I discovered I would rather be alone the rest of my life than to be with him, so I finally broke up with him – but it took me 6 months.
After we broke up, I started all over again with the issues around acquiring hsv. I had told NO ONE and refused to. No one in my family nor any of my friends.
One day I did an internet search for herpes dating and came across Positive Singles. I couldn’t afford to pay for a membership, but I posted a very depressing post in the blog section. A blogger reached out to me and invited me to a party at his house. I met some really nice people – and made a few friends.
Those friends really helped me get through those tough times – and a few are still friends today. They taught me silly games to play to help me get over feeling dirty and like I was a social outcast. They were paramount in my moving forward from the dark days. I’ve learned that most of what I knew about hsv before I got it was not accurate and that some of the old education was outdated.
I ended up paying it forward and co-founded ProjectAccept.org to fight the stigma and help people gain a more realistic understanding of hsv, and I started groups here on FB to help network with others who have hsv. I also co-moderate my local support group that meets once a month.
Last year I met a good man who winked at me on PS and we have been together ever since. Life is pretty damn good right now. It’s been a bumpy ride, but it does get better!!! Hang in there and be good to yourself.