My name is Jody and I am 23 years old, I have been HSV 2 positive for nearly a year now. When I first found out my world came crashing down, not only did the guy that I caught it off ditch me, but I was away at university a good 4 hours drive away from home.
I found myself crying in my room at night depressed at the thought of never being in a relationship or having children. I knew I could never tell a guy I liked about my herpes as I knew that if it had been the other way round I most probably would have ran a mile. Herpes is for life and in my opinion very few people would risk their sexual health for someone they had recently met.
I signed up to 2 or 3 herpes dating websites. I started talking to a few people and although this did make me feel better, it also made me realise that it was already hard enough to find that one amazing person and now (looking through the profiles of guys that lived near me) it was going to be a lot, lot harder!
A short while later I started chatting to this guy who was 31, I wasn’t sure from his photos that I fancied him but he seem really keen to meet up so I thought I had nothing to lose so why the hell not. We met at the train station and yeah, of course it was awkward at first but after a few vodka and cokes I started to feel more comfortable.
The only problem was that I really didn’t fancy him and although I am definitely not shallow, a physical attraction is vital if a sexual relationship is to develop. We didn’t meet again but the whole experience made me think that maybe, one day I could have the chance to meet someone and potentially have a relationship and feel normal again.
Months went by and I spent a great deal of my time thinking about herpes. I felt disgusting and in all honesty, jealous of ‘normal’ people in ‘normal’ relationships. I got chatting to this guy I had known for a while, I definitely fancied him and we met up 3 times. After the 3rd date I knew that I would soon have to have the dreaded ‘talk’. But couldn’t.
I stopped talking to him and ignored all of his messages until he eventually gave up trying. It sounds harsh and I know he deserved some sort of explanation but I was devastated and the ‘forever alone and diseased’ thoughts consumed me. I thought it was for the best and couldn’t risk changing his opinion of me or worse, him telling people.
I kept getting outbreaks (probably from the stress) so started suppressive therapy and took 800mg of Acyclovir daily. It stopped all outbreaks which helped me get through my exams. In July this year I graduated from university and about a week and a half later I got a message on Positive Singles (STD dating site) from a guy who lived near me. He was 25 and we swapped numbers and got talking, I liked him straight away.
In fact, I was pretty excited about meeting him for the first time. He is a paratrooper for the British army and although came from the other side of the country, was based at a town right near me. Anyway, we met for the first time at a pub near where he was based. It was great! I was really, really attracted to him and I felt like we got on so well!! He said he would like to meet up again too so I went home that night full of hope and so excited.
We met again, again and again each time I felt like I liked him even more. We had sex and finally I felt normal. He has HSV 2 as well and the fact that I didn’t have to have the ‘talk’ was the biggest relief. Not only was I extremely attracted to this man, but I felt like we just clicked. And the sex was so good 😛
Soon, after spending a weekend at his home town near Wales, it became official. I now have a boyfriend. I didn’t have to settle for second best because of herpes nor am I alone and depressed. I know no one can say it will last or he is the man that I will marry and have children with but for now, I am happy! I feel so lucky and the difference in my general mental state is incredible.
The reason I am writing this is to help that person like me. The person who believes they will be alone forever, the person who feels diseased, jealous, defeated and unloved.
Right now my life is great and for now herpes is not an issue in my life, in fact, I forget I even have it! Join herpes websites if you don’t want to have the ‘talk’, you never know, you may get lucky. I did!!