I am new to herpeslife.com and I thought sharing my story could bring inspiration and hope to others…
At the young age of 18 I was in a night club partying my face off and I kept feeling this awful tingle in my labia that itched so badly. I wanted to scratch it but I couldn’t do it there on the club floor. So I went into the bathroom and after using the bathroom I wiped myself and used a fresh tissue to try to massage the itch away, but it only made it itch more intense. I put one leg up and maneuvered in a very awkward position to see what was going on, that’s when I saw what looked like a white head pimple but shiny and would not pop! It sent a weird sensation in my groin area, which I now have come to learn as nerve pain. Determined I squeezed the living hell out of it until it finally ruptured and as it did I felt the most immense pain ever! But I no longer itched. Then I looked up at the bathroom stall door, and as I could hear the build up of an amazing house DJ, I knew, I had herpes. I remember feeling panic and hurt and thinking I was doomed to death. So I washed my hands and did what ever party favor I could get my hands on that night to try to drown my sorrows.
14 years later, I sit here today able to reflect back on that moment, that moment where I felt all hope was lost. I remember thinking, I trusted that guy. You know that guy I had unprotected sex with, who really didn’t give a darn about me. Well, I made my bed and now I lay in it.
I had to tell my mom about it because I lived in her house and I was covered under her insurance. My first outbreak was horrible. My labia itched so badly and the lips swelled up to 5 times their size. It was so painful and horrific. My mom had me sit in a tub with salt and tried to calm me down. I cried and cried and I felt so ashamed and embarrassed that I had allowed myself to catch herpes.
Since that first our break, I will get only a couple a year, maybe only one. I know that keeping my stress levels down and eating a healthy diet, help my body to avoid the out breaks. I have paid attention to when the symptoms start. If you are a woman, you may want to consider my triggers;
1. one to two weeks before my period when my hormones shift, i begin to feel the nerve pains in my groin, legs and bottom. I begin to have itching sensations that are not alleviated through scratching in or near my rectum and my clitoral area.
2. highly stressful times in my life seem to trigger them
That’s all! So if you experience this, know that your body is shedding the virus and responsibly abstain from sex, or oral sex.
My first love of my life.. accepted me for the herpes. We dated for at least 4-5 months before I told him. He was shocked at first, but he got to know me for who I am and saw past that. Having educated myself with a lot of info, I told him how sex and intimacy was possible for the uninfected and the infected. What types of precautions to take and that was that. We had a healthy sex life for three years. Its unfortunate we grew apart a bit, but, we are still the best of friends. Since then it has been important to me to divulge the information with all of my partners. As taboo as it sounds, its not as frowned upon as you think. I have had relationships with doctors, who even felt comfortable enough that we didn’t use protection. I am not encouraging unprotected sex, but when your both educated enough and you learn your body and your honest with yourself and your partner, you can have a more relaxed sexual encounter. So my point is, its not the end of the world. you may go through years of horrible outbreaks, one every month perhaps, like I did. But over time, they became less and less, to maybe one or two a year, and they last only a day or two.
I also thought I would mention that I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who is virus free. I did not deliver him vaginally, but I have been told its totally possible and we did attempt it, I just wouldn’t dilate. The doctors gave me a medication (can’t remember the name) while on bed rest in the hospital to help minimize the risk of infection to the baby. I breast fed him for 18 months and he is perfect! The only difference in my life now is as a single woman, I need to responsibly inform my potential partner of my herpes and let them make the choice if they want to have intimacy. Honestly at 32 and a single mom, I dont even want to bother with it. Most men just see me and want me for sex because of how I look, but I am just waiting for the right guy who wants me for me 🙂
Some tips for soothing the outbreaks and lesions that worked for me.
1. Bathing in Epsom salts
2. applying tea tree oil to the lesions several times a day. i did every time I used the toilet. This has fantastic healing properties and dries out the lesions quicker. But I will warn you, IT BURNS, but it will not last long, just fight through the burn. Then you will find relief!
3. Shave the body or genital/rectal area where you think your getting a lesion. Them having a clean, dry area where air can get to it will help them heal quicker.
4. Don’t pick the scabs once they scab over. You don’t want scars. Just keep applying tea tree oil. Once the scab forms you can add vitamin E oil on top of the tea tree oil.